Matt.Woodrum@wwfatherhood.com

Mistake #4 – Not Firm in decisions

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Mistake #4 – Not Firm in decisions

Decisions photo

Not Firm in decisions Mistake #4

This is an easy mistake that we can make as men. Sometimes it is easy to make decisions based on how we are feeling one minute or the other. As men, we need to make decisions and be firm on whatever we decide.  One of the problems parents have is not being firm on the decisions that they have made.  This is a problem for several reasons

  1. Not being firm on your decisions confuses your children.
  2. Not being firm on your decisions sends mixed signals to your children.
  3. Not being firm on your decisions affects the relationship between your child and yourself.
  4. Not being firm on your decisions confuses your child’s view on authority.
  5. Not being firm on your decisions has everlasting effects on your child with their own decision-making

When I was a child, I remember seeing friends who were confused.  When their parent told them something, they would easily be able to change the minds of their parents.  This told my friend that his parents could not make up their minds about what they wanted from him.  Anytime he asked them for something, he could get them to change their minds, even in the cases him getting into trouble.  If your child cannot trust your decisions, trust issues develop.  If they cannot trust their own parents, then who can they trust.

This also confuses the child on their relationships and what their idea of authority.  Sadly, later in life, your child will not understand who can be trusted and who cannot be.  This lead to several ruined relationships and problems with authority.  My friend had a lot of problems with authority.  He would get into trouble with the law and other authority figures.  He also thought he could talk his way out of everything.

 

Instead

Be firm on your decisions. Being firm shows your children that your decisions are final. This will also help your children to know that you will not go back and forth on what you decide, making your home a more stable environment.  In being firm with your decisions:

  1. Your child will NOT be confused
  2. You will NOT send mixed signals to your child
  3. You will have a better relationship with your children
  4. You child will have a healthy view on authority, understanding their decision as final
  5. You child will be able to think better for themselves and not questioning their every decision.

What you say to your child matters.  Your decisions are something that they watch every day.  When they understand where you stand, it gives them better direction in life, allowing them to see good decision making skills.  They will come to respect you, their teachers, coaches, police and other authority figures.  As a parent, what you say to your child MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!

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