Mistake #5 – Not Uniform with Spouse’s Decision
Not Uniform with Spouse’s Decision – Mistake #5
As parents, one of the things we want is for our children to like us. We want to be the cool parent, showing other parents how to do it right. However, A marriage IS a team sport. As team, both the husband and the wife need to be involved in making decisions for their children.
If we were to look at team sports, we see that each member of the team carries different amounts of weight. I used to be a huge fan of the NBA and more specially Michael Jordan. Jordan was an awesome Basketball player and one of the greatest of all time, if not the greatest. One of the things that made Jordan so good is his ability to play with Scottie Pippen and his other teammates. Even though Jordan was great, he still needed people who were better at rebounding and stealing the ball.
As Parents, we are in a team sport. It takes both parents to raise a child in the best way. If you’re a parent that is not in uniform with your spouse’s decisions, STOP. This sends mixed messages to your child, which will cause harm later.
If your married or living together, be a team. This will help keep the child out of the spouse war. Talk to your spouse so that your child does not get confused. If you are divorced, try to work things out so your child is not living by one set of rules at your house and a completely different set at their mother’s house.
There are three different ways that can help stop fights that you and your partner can work together:
- Communication! Talk to one another so that you can both be working towards the same goal. This will make things easier so that you’re not playing tug a war with your child.
- Do NOT call the other parent out in front of people. The goal here is for this team to work together so that your child knows they are loved and valued. If your spouse and you disagree, ask to speak to them alone that the conflict can be solved, allowing the entire family to grow together.
- Understand that you may be the one in the wrong. This is difficult because people enjoy being right. If you are wrong in a decision, let your spouse know and your child. Children, as they grow older, will always respect their parents when they admit that they made a mistake. Saying you are sorry allows your spouse to understand that it is not all about you. This is a team effort and your spouse is needed to make this family better
If you are divorced, this makes things more difficult. Try to work together for your child’s sake. Your child wants to know that they are important. Working with a spouse that you do not even like shows your son and daughter that they are truly important to you. As your child grows, they will understand that you put their health above your own arguments and problems.
In what ways do you need to become more uniform in your spouse’s decisions?
What steps do you plan on making to bring unity to your family?